#tonberry talks

[tonberry-yoda]

i would like to welcome all of the new buggy simps that have joined us due to the live action

welcome to my brain space every single day, im more than happy to have you

[sebastian-solac3]

Bro is out here double cheeked up on a Thursday afternoon

✨shawty gotta faddie ✨

[legitimatesatanspawn]

Things that scare me as a gamer:

Jumpscares.

Item Decay and Hunger systems.

Using that one special unique item and hoarding all items until the final battle, but fully expecting it to be needed for a post-game thing so still refusing to use it.

NIS games' insane Level caps which last I saw went from 9999 to just shy of one hundred million (99,999,999).

The sheer amount of Pokemon and the expectation to "catch them all" (which is why I wasn't able to play Ruby/Sapphire and dipped from the mainline games until Black/White; I've given up on "catching them all").

Romhacks and fangames that include the entire series pokedex and attempt to cram in multiple regions. One fangame I can think of has almost every mainline region and a few bonus areas. God damn, even just running each area and doing each gym without encountering any sideplot with Evil Teams will be insane.

Dwarf Fortress.

The higher level "sanity meter" hits in Eternal Darkness. The high tier sanity meter were designed to rattle the player, like making you think the game crashed or you lost your save file.

Losing my save file regardless of the reason. Looking at you, Nier.

When the freeware build of OneShot crashed. Because in the original version of the game, this killed Niko. If Niko dies (ex: poison gas field without mask) or you closed the game outside of a save point, that's it. The game refused to let you continue playing.

I Wanna Be The Guy.

Games with time limits. This can be stuff like Majora's Mask clock/schedule system or something like Pikmin's 'daily' setup or any farming sim / social game where you have to make choices based on each day (ex: Harvest Moon, Stardew Valley, Persona, Recettear, ect)

Enemies similar to Tonberries.

And the reason I'm saying all this: the idea of fighting two giant tonberries.

[damiemontclair]

Gdkahdhf the irony of one of my friends showing me the gold saucer bunny outfit like "here's a solution if you still want to be a bunny [damie]" when I've been a male viera for the past however long its been since it became available. Friend these ears ain't going nowhere 😂

[rottenpumpkin13]

Out Of Context Things Director Lazard Has Seen On The SOLDIER Floor #2

• Genesis carrying around a mop, talking and laughing with it as if they're friends.

• Sephiroth doing a cartwheel mid-walk.

• Zack in the men's room, applying clown makeup while sobbing.

• Kunsel carrying a box of random items and yelling "STOLEN ITEMS FROM RUFUS SHINRA. GET YOUR STOLEN ITEMS FROM RUFUS SHINRA" and Sephiroth approaching him with a 20 gil.

• Sephiroth and Angeal fighting over a pineapple, trying to pull it from each other's hands.

• Angeal and Genesis crouched down behind the couch in the break room, eating a cheesecake away from Sephiroth.

• Zack playing chess with Dark Star, claiming "Damn it! How are you so good at this?" while actively losing.

• Sephiroth with half his hair stuck in the elevator, calmly sipping his coffee with a sign that says "this is my punishment" around his neck.

• Angeal and Sephiroth cooing over an exotic plant in a baby stroller.

• Angeal trying to coordinate a group photo of Sephiroth, Genesis, Zack and Cloud. There was a lot of screaming, arguing and "WHERE ARE WE FUCKING LOOKING?" from Genesis because Angeal had 4 different cameras set up.

• Genesis in a lab coat conducting a science experiment to see if Sephiroth feels threatened by said lab coat. Upon seeing Genesis, Sephiroth reflexively broke his knee.

• Sephiroth taking a nap in the middle of the hallway, complete with an eye mask, pillow and sound machine. People were stepping around him.

• Genesis and Angeal carrying a kayak towards the stairwell.

• Angeal carrying Genesis with a broken leg back from the stairwell 20 minutes later.

• Cloud narrating everything Sephiroth does. "Sephiroth is now opening the door to the training facility. Sephiroth has paused. Sephiroth is now looking at me confused, which could easily be confused for his thinking about lunch face."

• Zack, blowing on a whistle, instructing a squats class.

• Zack and Cloud, both blindfolded, walking with their arms linked. They ran into a revolving door. and caused a metaphorical traffic jam inside it that ended with claustrophobic Sephiroth breaking the glass to free himself.

• The following conversation that piqued Lazard's interested greatly:

Zack: Would you like a smoke?

Cloud: Of course.

*Zack pulls out a tin of smoked ham*

• Sephiroth, Genesis, Angeal and Zack holding a Séance in the middle of the day in the break room. They refused to say which entity they were communicating with.

• Sephiroth, Genesis, Angeal and Zack running out of the break room screaming 20 minutes later.

• During a blackout, when Genesis was seen carrying around a candelabra like it's the 1700s and reciting an old version of Loveless. Someone threw the candelabra out the 49th floor window 10 minutes later and told him to put a sock in it.

• Zack stuck in the vending machine, calmly eating the snacks while Angeal, Sephiroth and Genesis argue over how to get him out.

• Genesis running after a copy of Loveless on a string. Sephiroth is behind a corner pulling the string.

• Sephiroth and Genesis, in The Calm Down Box™ playing Uno, screaming at each other, defeating the purpose of The Calm Down Box™

• Angeal and Genesis dragging Sephiroth (unconscious) out of a meeting. When asked if he was okay, they responded with "we had him fake a fainting spell to get out of the meeting." Sephiroth (still "unconscious") responded with a thumbs up.

• Angeal in The Calm Down Box™ with a taser, harassing anyone who came near him with it.

• Zack and the other Seconds using a prop skeleton dressed as Genesis as a practice dummy.

• The same skeleton sitting in in Genesis' office while a recording of Genesis reciting Loveless plays on loop.

• A tonberry dressed as Sephiroth walking around, terrorizing the operatives.

• Genesis in The Calm Down Box™ playing the flute and sobbing.

• Angeal playing the guitar and singing a happy campfire song while Sephiroth and Genesis were on the ground, fist fighting.

• Genesis, Sephiroth and Angeal dressed as knights while Zack and Cloud manned a single horse costume. When asked what was happening, they replied with "It's the apocalypse, but due to inflation we could only afford three horsemen and one horse."

• Zack sitting in The Calm Down Box™ except he placed it stop a skateboard and was actively trying to escape while Angeal ran after him.

• Sephiroth, Genesis and Angeal riding around in a three-person bike. They crashed into a sliding glass door they didn't realize was closed.

• Sephiroth sitting in The Calm Down Box™ chugging a bottle of tequila.

• Sephiroth, Angeal, Genesis, Zack and Cloud playing twister. Utter chaos. Zack's ass in Angeal's face, Cloud has turned into a pretzel, Sephiroth and Genesis are literally tangled and stuck together.

[tonberry-yoda]

this happened to me to so pretty please keep blocking and reporting them!!

hope everyone is well ❤️

Be weary of bots in my comment section

[demialwrites]

Dating a chocobo jockey reader

w/ Reno, Sephiroth, Rufus, Rude, & Cloud

Reno

He may not have been interested in the details of chocobo racing before you started dating but he becomes your loudest fan during your races

He will get in several fights with spectators who bet against you while being especially obnoxious. He doesn't start the verbal part of the fights but he can't help escalating them with threats

You have to ask him to simmer down in the future. As much as you appreciate (and are amused by) his support, you can't get in trouble because of his behaviour

He gets really pouty sometimes because he could be spending more time with you or watching your races if it wasn't for his job

He also is unhappy when your free time doesn't match up with his

When you do meet up after a race, he likes the more exciting attractions at the Gold Saucer, with some drinking and greasy takeout after in the inn at Ghost Square (might as well take advantage of the activities available nearby while you have the time, right?)

After getting a few drinks deep, he will make cheesy jokes that you should ride him in bed

Sephiroth (pre-Nibelheim)

He has as little time as Reno but he will hang around in disguise in the back to catch your races

He initially uses a disguise all in black, on repeat, until you point out that it still draws stares because of his height and standoffish aura. He doesn't like hearing that but it lets you help him pick out clothes (like hoodies and hats in different colours), which he secretly treasures

He could get VIP seats to watch you but he doesn't like to use his Shinra connections like that. Plus, the company would have concrete proof of his whereabouts

His favourite activities at the Gold Saucer involve using his strength or reflexes but he is curious about your favourites, too. He has quite a few top high scores under a pseudonym in various games

He also joins you at the inn, mostly for the privacy it affords the both of you

He is amused by the Tonberry humidifier because of the stabbing knife

Give him a shed chocobo feather from one of your races and he will tuck it in his clothes to take on missions

Rufus

Be careful with this one because he will try to become your part-time manager

He doesn't understand if you refuse to let him buy you the best equipment. You already have the skills so why not let money help you the rest of the way, just like him? His opinion is the more wins the better

Either way, he confidently brags that you're the best and everyone takes him at his word whether it's true or not (he's not above lying)

He prefers to bet on you but likes winning more, even if he doesn't need the money. He can always spend the winnings on you, anyway

Unlike Sephiroth, he always uses the company to get private space for himself and the best room at the inn, if that's where you want to spend time

If you drink together at the inn, expect him to try and initiate sex

Rude

He waits for you after a race with a bouquet of flowers. If he has the time, he'll want to impress you with his skills at the games at the Gold Saucer

The only one of the Turks that asks you for a date on the Skywheel. It's a little awkward at first because he's a quiet person but it still brings you closer together

Is very protective of you if there's ever drama between you and the other jockeys. Sometimes there's highschool-like drama and he would want to intimidate the person causing you trouble

He absolutely backs off if you catch him doing it and get upset. That's not to say that you're unaware of his ability to do some serious damage

You know Reno almost as well as Rude sometimes. Partially because Reno is important to Rude but also because Reno talks way more. Rude would be happy if you two got along

Cloud

He is the one who best understands your job out of everyone, although you're slightly better than him because of the gap in experience

He may not cheer very loudly for you but he is quietly very invested in what happens during your races

Always down to talk shit with you about the other jockeys

Something tells you that he has been hanging around the Gold Saucer more often since you started dating because he has a growing collection of plush prizes. Sometimes, he gives you one he thinks you might like

He comes alive the most when he is invited to fight in the area. When you have a fight and a race scheduled on the same day, you both win because you feed off each other's energy without even speaking

In a perfect world, you would have wanted to settle down and start a chocobo ranch with him

[tinypurpleparrot]

Me trying to level my warrior in ARR when my main is a lvl 90 reaper, and this fucker is daring me to go do my class quest:

Guys... guys, please turn around and help me, oh primals they've all got airpods in...

Picking up an alt class that starts at level 1 after reaching endgame on your main be like....

[prismaticpichu]

hi pichu!!! :3

silly ask here! out of all the firsts + zc, who do you think is the mostly likely to be a discord mod LMFAO

personally, I'm placing my bets on Genesis because there is NO WAY this man has never called someone "m'lady". it's canon he told me this in a dream /j

do you see the vision LMAOO

Shshshshshshhd I SEE THE VISION LMAOOO 🤣❤️ Golden doodle as always, Soggy! 💕😂

~

AGSZC as Discord Mods!

Angeal (aka, @AngealHewley999) - Extremely ultra-sensitive to anyone and anything that can be even remotely taken as offensive. Insists that everyone in the server uses “family friendly” nicknames and WILL knock you senseless with the ban hammer should you join with the username (and this is just an example) “SephirothisnotasgoodasGenesis45”. All emotes under his moderation can and WILL be ones that promote positivity and well-being, are SFW, and have nothing to do with guns and/or a cute character holding one with an evil smirk on its face. He also banned the VC.

❌

Genesis (aka, @ThatOminousApplePie) - Extremely under-sensitive to anyone and anything that can absolutely be taken as outwardly offensive. Often instigates arguments between members and will do nothing at all to try to put either party in time out. He has been recorded to place bets based on which person will leave the server first—then proceeds to pour said betting money right back into Discord Nitro, allowing him to boost to the server to the levels necessary to add violent emotes and “hilarious” stickers. He will also change your username (multiple times) against your will.

❌

Tho your bet is totally valid, Soggy xDD

Sephiroth (aka, @YesI’mtheRealSephiroth11119) - He’s more of a MuTube kinda guy. Doesn’t even care to spend his time on a digital platform when he can just slap Genesis in the face talk to his best friends in person. Voluntarily rejects offer.

❌

Zack (aka, @PupEmUp!) - Contrary to popular belief, Zack is actually quite responsible on Discord! <33 Knows all the ins-and-outs of good social media etiquette, will not tolerate bullying for a nanosecond, and is more than open to a good ol’ laugh with some gun-pointing Tonberries as emotes! He’s the most adept when it comes to banning/timeouts—even remembering to leave respectful explanations in the description of each ban when necessary. Just an all-around wonderful user who knows how to get the job done!~

…

That is, all of this is in OTHER servers, of course. No one in the SOLDIER friend circle actually trusts Zack not to transform the server into anarchy, thus resulting in Cloud (aka, @NimbusDriver) taking the crown as moderator <33

[tonberry-yoda]

GOJO AND GETO BRAINROT

guys be honest, if I wrote fanfic of them kissing and cuddling would y'all read it???

cuz I would do it anyway

[pseudophan]

I feel like we don’t talk enough about the fact that they have the stuffed animal that Phil gave Dan for Christmas in 2009 in the gaming channel room. Those gays are so fucking sappy and sentimental it makes me sick

god. that stupid fucking tonberry plushie haunts me every day of my life. watching it move with them throughout the years has literally been so fucked up like they are such sentimental assholes im going to tear my hair out

and the video where dan first mentions it... he's so happy :( that meant so much to him :( i hope they die

[ahappydnp]

Can we talk about the tonberry sitting up on the shelf with its own little compartment!!!!

no we can’t! hope this helps!

[classicanalyzer]

Final Fantasy XVI - The Rising Tide Thoughts and Reflection

"Come follow me! Come follow me! Follow your destiny!" Awakening trailer and the last of Cascade's lyrics

It is now summer, and it's only fitting to finally talk about a story around the Eikon of Water thought to be lost from Valisthea.

This final DLC takes us to the land of Mysidia, the last bastion of the Motes of Water, the tribe of Leviathan, and of the Northern Territories' former glory. The Glamour, a region-wide spell by Dusk Crystals, keeps the skies blue and keeps the tribe safe from the Imperials who want them to relinquish their religion or face death as "heretics". Clive, Joshua, Jill, and Torgal are invited by the Tributary Shula to save Waljas, the baby Dominant of Leviathan, from his ice prison. To right the wrongs of Waljas' ancestors, Clive must free Waljas and face the wrath of Leviathan the Lost to prevent the child's anger from consigning a repentant community to the seas.

Mysidia is a remnant of the Northern Territory beauty long lost to the Blight. The Motes of Water also serve as the last remnant of the people of Ash after they lost their Mothercrystal in Southern Ash. It's also really refreshing to see non-Primogenesis skies which allows you to fully absorb and admire the beauty of Mysidia. The environments truly are an embodiment of the seas (which is also a notable sight) despite Mysidia being far from the Motes of Waters' original homeland. Also present are the abandoned remnants of the Northern Territories' temples, structures, and culture such things Jill is reminded of and comments on what once was here.

In many ways, the Motes of Water serve as what could've been and can be for Valisthea, similar to the Hideaway, a world where Bearers and non-Bearers can live alongside equally. Mysidia also serves as a relic of a world untouched by the Blight. However, by the actions of their ancestors (there were many dissenting voices but it was the Waljas' father that drowned them out), they committed the ultimate sin of all...they attempted to exploit the powers of their Dominant who was a baby. They wanted to use the baby as the heart of their attempt to create a Mothercrystal, much like the Fallen's Mothercrystal. When the rightfully angry Eikon emerged, the ancestors froze Leviathan in time (Also creating the Surge, a massive frozen tidal wave), which means Waljas is forever trapped. It suddenly puts this entire community as one built on that ultimate sin making it frustrating to witness. On their part, the current generation realizes this horrific sin and wants to find some way to free Waljas to make this right.

Despite the Empire of Sanbreque's fall, their legacy continues to be felt in Mysidia. A forbidden love between a villager of Mysidia and a citizen of Sanbreque occurs, an old victim of Sanbreque wants revenge, and the community is still afraid of what would happen if the Glamour is undone.

Shula, the strong, dutiful Tributary of Mysidia, is our guest companion in this DLC. Shula is also a Bearer with no mark which makes it heartwarming to see how Bearers are treated as equals among the Motes of Water. You feel her desire to right the wrongs and sins of her ancestors to save Waljas, who is a part of the same bloodline as hers. She's a formidable fighter and a responsible leader in her community as she also struggles with how to best lead the Motes of Water with the world changing figuratively and literally.

Our final dungeon is the Aire of Hours, the ancient Northern Temple now abandoned to the Tonberries (who return in this DLC as native Beastmen of the Northern Territories, pure evil but adorable goobers) who stake it for themselves alongside other creatures. The mysterious spell created a bubble that froze time who was around the spell when it was cast, the Timeless Stones. It truly is an awe-striking location that sells on the beauty of Northern Territories' architecture.

"The temple that time forgot." Shula

The "Witch of the North" is revealed to be Ysay (who looks like Jill), the previous Dominant of Shiva. Her story furthers the narrative of the abuse of Dominants and the cycle continues. The Northern thegns wanted to use her powers to preserve their Mothercrystal eternally and once she failed to get the spell in on time, they exiled her. It again proves Cid's point about how Dominants are used and discarded if their value runs out. This also serves as a parallel to Ysay's descendent, Jill, when Jill was used as a slave by the Iron Kingdom and expected to be discarded if she couldn't be useful. The Motes of Water however gave her kindness in her final days that her own people didn't give her, and for that, she gave them the spell she labored so hard to save her own people. The Timekeeper guardian guarding her spell is later revealed to be Ysay's assigned knight who reunited with his lady as the Guardian of the spell and in death. Ysay's Knight must've been really good at his job since I had to use up all of my potions during the fight. May the two find a more peaceful life than the one they lived.

Just when it seems like Waljas will be freed without Leviathan awakening…a certain God shows up and fittingly in the same manner when Clive first took Garuda’s powers (black and white palette of "stopping time"). We hear one of the most chilling versions of his theme.

“Free once more. Leviathan. Our most profaned fragment. Its divinity defiled by the hand of man. Its spirit shackled by his hubris. Till Mythos came, bringing release. Now……let the sins of man be redeemed……by the hand of the servant of God.” Ultima

Clive knew immediately what the hell was going to happen (Ultima used similar methods to drive himself, Hugo, and Dion insane). As Waljas once again turns into Leviathan, the entirety of Mysidia is under threat of submerging in its waters. However, unlike last time, there's another Dominant here to calm the Dominant of Water.

"As for the rest... The rest Ifrit will handle." Clive Rosefield

"After eighty years of imprisonment, I'd be angry too. But I can't let it end like this, Waljas." Clive Rosefield

Leviathan's (the largest Eikon aside from Titan in its Titan Lost form) fight is awe-striking and mesmerizing like all Eikon fights as we move from a massive waterspout to the bright blue sky of oceans. Just like Leviathan's Eikon abilities, Leviathan relies more on long-ranged water attacks with few physical attacks. The devs did not lie that this would be the hardest Eikon fight with Leviathan hitting like a tsunami (quite literally a lot lol), especially the third phase with Leviathan's shield. It took me possibly 30 minutes to defeat Leviathan's third phase. Clive even mused that Gardua would be proud in its final phase when it summoned a massive waterspout. When Leviathan tries to do the one-shot Tsunami from the third phase, Clive has none of it by burning the tsunami away. The fight ends with one last (and our final) Hellfire from Ifrit as Leviathan tries to use a concentrated frontal shield...but fails to account for Ifrit taking advantage of a blind spot. With a smaller Hellfire breaking Leviathan's concentration, the larger Hellfire hits Leviathan as the fight ends with the familiar last music notes we heard in the first trailer.

"You've had your fun, Leviathan. It's time you went back to sleep!" Clive Rosefield

"Leviathan Tamed" Victory Text

The theme of Leviathan, Cascade (the possible lyrics are from other interpretations we will not know the full lyrics until the official CD is out), gets a calm and peaceful variant in Haven, appropriately called Safe Haven, with acoustics and flutes mixed in. As we explore Mysidia, an even more relaxed and soothing variant of Cascade plays, Writ in Water. When we approach Waljas and the Aire of Hours, a dramatic and tragic variant of Cascade plays, Bide Time Return, which also serves as the battle variant of Writ in Water. Another variant also plays inside The Timeless Stones which shares some similarities to Heavensbound - Reverie. This time it's a more soothing electronic, synth, and haunting music as Clive and his allies approach the spell that froze both the Surge and Waljas. A theme similar to the Timeless Stones track plays as Clive approaches Leviathan in Cape Nepto, having a more electronic introduction and even more foreboding of the fight to come.

Now onto the actual theme itself, Cascade is the last major theme Soken made for FF16...but it was also the first music he made for the game. It first debuted in the Awakening trailer (the FF16 teaser trailer) and was supposed to be just a trailer-only track. Until the official CD releases, we won't know the full names of the first two phases of the fight. The intense, fast-paced music reflects the raging tides of Leviathan. The first phase is a chaotic remix of Cascade as Ifrit is transported to a seemingly another plane of existence (it turns out to be still in Myidia's waters but it felt like another plane of existence) inhabited by the seas themselves. The second phase is a remix of FF14's Leviathan theme (Through the Maelstrom) and it sounds just as epic as in FF14. The second phase of music splashes an urgent vibe. The third phase is Cascade itself, a fully expanded music theme of the trailer original track in Awakening. It's a grand, God-like theme which emphasizes the presence of Leviathan. There's a small intermission where soft music plays in an almost tragic and longing tone and vibe reflecting the child, the Dominant of this scared, angry beast. Cascade ends with the familiar notes at the end of the trailer and the iconic three sentences (shown in the first quote above the first image) with Prelude ending Soken's final dominant theme.

"War's upon us, oh guide us, until the fall,

From beneath a storm cloud that's inescapable (Not sure about this)

When we leave home, a blessing, to see us through the night

Revelation, your light shines through (or forth?)

(The first stanza repeats itself)

Come follow me, Come follow me, Follow your destiny!" One's interpretation of Cascade's lyrics (I'm not sure if this is correct myself)

As the battle concludes, we finally see Waljas, a crying baby longing for comfort. It's a heartwarming scene to see Waljas finally get to be with people who care about his well-being rather than what he can bring as the Dominant of Leviathan. It's much-needed light in an otherwise dark world and a history as dark and messed up as the Motes of Water's sin. Now all that is needed is for Clive to destroy Ultima to truly make Valisthea free and prevent situations like Leviathan the Lost's fate from happening again.

"Now...Now, we make things right." Shula

"How?" Jill Warrick

"By providing Waljas what he was denied. A place to learn and grow. A family to love and protect him. So that one day, when the wounds in his heart and mind have finally healed...he might decide for himself how he'd like to live the rest of his life. But until then, I'll stay by his side, come what may." Shula

"Then he's a lucky boy. And not only because he'll have the best warrior this side of the Belt to teach him the battleaxe." Clive Rosefield

"She'll do her best." Shula

A continuing theme I was right from the Echoes of the Fallen post is the connection between the Mothercrystals. The Motes of Water tried to emulate the Fallen's ambitions of a man-made Mothercrystal. In doing so, they committed the ultimate sin. Funny enough, Famiel and his two followers are a part of the same tribe with Famiel being Shula's younger brother.

Overall, the DLC is an amazing final addition to the FF16's universe. I also intend to make a retrospective series of the entire FF16 game with this and the EotF post as a preview of the style of those posts. Now Square Enix gives us a Cid prequel spin-off you cowards.

Rite of Immersion:

"Like the rain that falls on the mountains tall, are we born." Famiel

"Like the river that flows through the valleys below, do we live." Shula

"Like the boundless sea where the currents run free, do we die. And to the clouds then rise again." Clive Rosefield

"The circle of water is the circle of life. And today, from the heavens falls rain anew. This child, Waljas, now joins our stream, and he shall flow with us...from the mountains to the sea." Shula

[gmax]

i dont know how everyone isnt getting into setoto and alka zolka like i am ok. like their first meeting always gets me, like you meet setoto and she is so down and out and aching, she barely sees herself as a person anymore much less a woman, and alka Immediately sees her for who she is and calls it, "this is clearly a lovely young lady". and it's obviously so uplifting for her!!! he has feelings for her even before she becomes a lalafell again and it's so super sweet, he is a gentleman and shows concern for her outside of his crush, she has spent so long as a monster that she doesnt know how to react and it overwhelms her a bit! to me being at your lowest point and finding someone who can immediately understand you for who you are without even a need for prompt or introduction is high romance, these are the hets i will go down swinging for. if youre making fun of them because she starts as a tonberry dont talk to me you dont get it at all

[scholars-of-nym]

2. Horizon

While there were quite some volunteers helping them with rebuilding Nym, occasionally they all run against a problem they cannot solve on their own. Sometimes, this problem needs a true expert. And, in this case, that true expert was in Thanalan.

They took the ferry from La Noscea to Horizon. It was a cool morning, and Setoto was looking out over the horizon, watching Thanalan come closer and closer. The last time she came to the mainland, she was still a tonberry - desperate for clues about her father.

~

It wasn't an easy decision - Gods know that Surito had cautioned her against it, multiple times. But she didn't want to listen. She truly needed to do this. When she awoke she was devastated and knowing just how much time had passed did not make it easier. She didn't grab any supplies; as a tonberry, she didn't need to. She didn't need to eat, she didn't need to drink - she simply needed to stay hidden so that her green skin and monstrous features wouldn't alarm anyone. The only thing she brought was a map. She didn't quite steal it - an adventurer visiting Warmwine Sanatorium simply left one, and the wind took it towards the water of Bronze Lake.

She took the path down towards Western La Noscea. As her stubby feet hit the gravel, she hesitated and took out the map. She shone her lantern onto it. The first time she looked at it, she thought it was a map from a different country, a different continent. When she showed it to Surito, however, he confirmed that this was what their country, their home, had become. She frowned, gritting her teeth to hold back tears. She took a deep breath, trying to shake off the feeling. "Stay strong…" Her father would always tell her that their family was a resilient one, and she believed it.

The night was dark, but her eyes were well able to see through the night, having been in the darkness of the Palace for who-knows-how long. She snuck her way past the guards towards Aleport. It was mostly deserted, but a few lights were still on this late. Suddenly, she heard voices, and quickly hid in the shadows, dimming her lantern a little.

"Finally! We got our permit!" One of the sailors waved with a little paper. "By Rhalgr's beard, this was hard to get. You'd think a little route change wouldn't set off the yellowjackets, but noo," he complained, "Those damned paper-pushers need their reassurances!"

"Frankly, better they know where we are than us falling pray to pirates. Or worse yet, other yellowjackets." the second sailor said. "There's a reason why traffic is routed through Lominsa first. Contraband, my friend."

"Aye, but we've got none o' that." the first retorted. "As proven by the paper pushers. In the morning, we're setting off to Horizon, and that's that."

Horizon - that name sounded familiar. Setoto got the map from her pocket as quietly as she could and searched the name. Horizon, there it was - a 'Thanalan' port. Her eyes widened - this was it! If she could stow away there, she could get on the mainland and to Amdapor - or, well, what's left of it, she reminded herself. She nodded to herself and put the map away.

She looked around the corner - the two sailors, a miqo'te man and an Elezen woman, were still talking, walking towards what she assumed was their ship. She took a deep, nervous breath, and followed them quietly. She shot a look towards the guards - they were preoccupied with other things, so she felt safe enough to follow them, from corner to corner, shadow to shadow.

When they went up the bridge to their ship, she followed them up the gangplank. She tried very hard not to look down. The ship smelled like damp wood and seasalt. The deck was dark, and she quickly set about to find a hiding spot. A large Roegadyn man came lumbering towards her - she sqeaked and ran off towards some empty barrels that were stored next to the cabin and hid inside until the footsteps were gone - but they didn't. The Roegadyn was patrolling the ship!

She waited, and waited, but eventually fatigue overtook her and she fell asleep, gently rocked by the waves in the bay. Next time she awoke, it was daylight. When she tried to peek out, she saw that there were a lot of people out and about - tending to the sails, the cargo, cleaning the deck. She also saw that no-one was paying attention to her corner, and she was grateful for that. She then dared to look outward - and she saw land, arid mountains, growing larger and larger. Thanalan, she thought to herself.

I'm almost there, father.

[rottenpumpkin13]

Out Of Context Shit Heard On The SOLDIER Floor #6

Previous: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5

Angeal: No, Genesis, you spaghetti-noodle-spine-having-ass bitch.

Sephiroth: I identify as a tonberry *chases Cloud with a kitchen knife*

Zack: Ra Ra Rasputin *kicks Sephiroth over*

Genesis: Unhand me you cretin *alone, talking to no one*

Angeal: Zack just showed me a picture of the Grinch and said "hear me out"

Lazard: No, Sephiroth, you cannot have a human-sized cat bed in your office "for enrichment"

Cloud: Parkour time *crashes through the air vents*

Sephiroth: I'm the biggest lesbian ally in this department, actually.

Angeal: For the sake of my sanity I'm gonna pretend I didn't just see Zack twerking to One Winged Angel.

Luxiere: I would commit unspeakable atrocities for a crumb of Zack's attention.

Lazard: That stripper pole better be gone when I get back or so help me, Genesis, I will return you to the goddess.

Sephiroth: *does a single pump of sore throat spray* This is enough for sustenance for the day.

Kunsel: Care for a deep-fried cigarette?

Angeal: You look like an AI-generated twink.

Sephiroth: I've grown so tired of Genesis's voice that we now communicate solely through interpretive dance.

Lazard, over the speakers: Whoever heated fish in the break room microwave, please come by my office so I can break your knees.

Zack: Aww, I forgot to feed the Roomba :(

Genesis: I don't know why me and Angeal are being judged. Simulating a birth with a watermelon is a perfectly normal activity for two people.

Kunsel: Hopefully this office party won't end in accidental weed use.

Angeal: WHY IS THERE A FAMILY OF RACCOONS IN THE TRAINING ROOM?

Genesis: I noticed some homosexual subtext in your screams, do you want to talk about that?

Angeal: *sniff sniff* Ooh~ who's barbecuing? OH MY GOD IT'S AN ELECTRIC FIRE.

Roche: Every time I think about chopping my hair short I think "Sephiroth wouldn't want this for me" and the feeling is gone.

Genesis: I made a friend *drags in a skeleton with a Sephiroth wig*

Cloud: *points at Angeal, Genesis and Sephiroth* Pure of heart, dumb of ass, big of tit.

Lazard: I told Zack to use Excel and he started sobbing.

Angeal: WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST SEASONING YOUR GROUND BEEF?

Sephiroth: It's extremely rude to ask someone why they're eating a salad bowl of udon at 8 AM. Mind your business, Zack.

Cloud: Genesis likes Loveless so much because the title resonates with his love life.

Zack: You keep your anxiety pills in a takeaway to-go box? Dude that's so fancy.

Lazard: Why is Sephiroth the only one wearing a shirt??

Angeal: Common sense has chased Zack all his life but he wears wheelies so he's faster

Sephiroth: I personally don't use the peace sign because I haven't had a day of peace since I was 12.

Kunsel: I'm never going out in public with Zack again. A child's balloon popped when it went near his hair.

Angeal: No I'm not giving you an aspirin. Last time I gave you one you crushed it and snorted it like cocaine.

Lazard: An overwhelming majority of you peaked in kindergarten.

Sephiroth: Zack, I'm becoming increasingly concerned by the amount of potatoes in your pants right now.

Zack: This year I want an A/B/O themed birthday party.

Sephiroth: Please don't commit tax fraud, Genesis. You won't thrive in prison.

Genesis: Does anyone have an extra ramen packet to give Sephiroth? The 64 he consumed this morning weren't enough.

Roche: Commander Rhapsodos and his emo fringe is our culture.

Zack: I'm at my fucking limit! I'm about to eat a vegetable!

Genesis: He's a son of a bitch Sephiroth: That implies he has a mother, so I don't see how that's an insult.

Zack: Fuck around and find out *said with a chunk of Genesis' red coat hanging from his pocket*

Cloud: Does anyone have an extra brain cell? I lost my remaining one when Genesis spoke to me this morning.

Sephiroth: Damn.

Kunsel: Zack owes me so much money that if he sold his box of random shit he stole from Angeal, he still couldn't pay me back.

Angeal: Why are you guys playing Queen's Blood in the closet? is this a metaphor?

Genesis: Have you prayed to your Sephiroth cardboard cutout yet today?

Sephiroth: Alert me once Rufus Shinra arrives so that I may greet him adequately *said while building a pipe bomb*

Lazard: It's all fun and games until the timeout cage that I ordered online arrives.

Genesis: I will atone for my sins by becoming a nuisance to the environment.

Cloud: If Zack were a scented candle he'd smell like ADHD and crayons.

Sephiroth, standing on a table: DO NOT. EAT. THE CHEESECAKE. IN THE FRIDGE. It's mine.

Angeal: *with a bucket while it's raining hale* Free ice baby.

Zack: I finally have enough gil to buy a sixteen bouncy castles.

Genesis: Being overcome with the desire to eat pasta and call your mother at 2 AM and wondering if you're having a mental breakdown or are possessed by Sephiroth.

Lazard: I can't fire any of you, but I'm about to start setting things on fire.